Tuesday, August 5, 2008

KNOCKED UP DAY!!!

Oh, that poor vag. After this post I am heading straight down to Hallmark and getting her a vag a sympathy card. TRUST, I know they have one, they have one for every occasion. 

Here's a short little story for you. A few years back my drunk slutty friend, we all have one, hooked up with this black guy, she's loves her some dark meat, at a bar and went back to his place. They started to get their hump day on, but they didn't have a rubber. So she, being the clever devil that she is, found a zip lock freezer bag and one of those giant rubber bands, tossed it to him, and off they went like two raw chicken breasts slapping together. 

I thought this ho gave birth a long ass time ago, but apparently not. Here she is, probably fulfilling her cravings for biscuits and gravy. On a side note, I fucking love biscuits and gravy. 

Good thing bones break and muscles tear, cause that's going to be a bitch to get out. Kind of like a trying to push a watermelon through a garden hose. OUCH.

I am cramping up just thinking about and I don't even have those parts. 

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